getting serious

my good attempts to examine patients this morning fell flatly when one after the other, two patients refused. i really hate asking patients for permission. sometimes you get nicely refused, sometimes you're rudely shooed off. and sometimes there are the student's dream patient, who gladly welcomes you with a smile. reminds me of people selling flags. or asking a girl out on a first date. i'm beginning to feel scared walking around the hospital alone, not knowing what the patients are thinking to themselves.

16 weeks have passed swiftly by as the first grand segment of year 3 comes to a close. csfc, a distant memory now, seemed more like a year 2 post-examination reward. those 6 weeks now seem comparatively short. yet it was enough to lay some foundation for a meaningful and hopefully extended friendship.

it would have been difficult imagining the nature of the surgery and medicine postings at the end of csfc. 16 weeks seemed like it would drag on forever. even at the half way point, at the end of the surgical posting, the remaining 8 weeks seemed to be a stretch. yet, the miracle of time is that we inadvertently arrive.

undoubtedly for me, the biggest lesson learnt is the realisation that this new type of life will soon become routine. it's been about learning to adapt and cope with the new expectations and demands. the freedom and sense of responsibility in year 3 has been nothing short of refreshing. to know that i dictate the pace of everyday has been empowering.

i'm eagerly anticipating the next few postings even though my current one is only beginning to wrap itself up. less and less i feel that i'm a student of an institution, bounded by false markers. rather, like confetti in the air, we are bathed in knowledge, each piece one step closer to the ever expanding puzzle. not to pass a lifeless exam, but to comfort a beating heart.